I have been meaning to write about this for some time, but now I finally have the opportunity. A couple of weeks ago, my daughter really took me by surprise. As I mentioned in my previous post, the day before Corey's birthday party, we attended a baby shower for some friends at a local burger joint called Big'Z. It's a really fun restaurant because not only do they serve delicious hamburgers, they also have a really awesome backyard area for kids to play. There's a large field of grass for the kids to run off their energy, chalkboards posted against the decks for drawing, kick balls, etc. So while the adults are eating and visiting, the kids are having a ball playing within eye site.
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| Playing with my Dad at Big'Z |
Ashley is an extremely friendly and social child, so it didn't surprise me when I saw Ashley sitting on the grass in the large field talking to some girls that she met just minutes before. At the time, my Dad was visiting and I patted his shoulder focusing his attention on how cute she looked chatting it up with her new friends. Then all of the sudden, the three or four girls get up abruptly and walk away, leaving Ashley sitting on the grass by herself. I didn't think much about it. Ashley just got up, kind of walked around a bit and then sat down alone on the grass just watching the kids playing and glancing every so often to the girls that walked away. She looked very pensive sitting there, but then again, sometimes she looks like that, deep in thought...taking it all in.
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At that point, Corey started acting up, drawing my attention to him. My friend Tina came over with her son, Parker, and we were entertaining the boys. My Dad decided to walk over to Ashley and sit next to her for a bit. From afar (keep in mind it is a LARGE field and I was across the field tending to Corey) I could see one of the same girls that were sitting next to Ashley earlier get up and walk over to her and my Dad. The girl walked away and then I saw my Dad come walking over to me and Tina. My Dad said that the little girl that approached them said that Ashley could come play with them now if she wanted to. My Dad said that Ashley was quiet for a moment and then looked up and told her "No, that's okay. I want to sit here with my Pop-Pop. He is from New Jersey and I love him." My Dad couldn't believe that Ashley "stuck it to her gently". Ashley didn't tell the girl how upset she was that they didn't want to play with her, but instead just said in other words, that she had better things to do than play with those girls. My Dad was so impressed. But then it gets better....
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| I took this photo not realizing what was going on. But see the determination in her face and you can see the girls that were mean to her in the background. I was going through my photos and I couldn't believe I had this photo! |
After this little confrontation, from far away, Ashley is confronted again by this same group of girls but we can see Ashley put her hands on her hips and so do the other girls. At this point, I am getting nervous and wonder what is being said to my daughter. It appeared that Ashley was holding her own, so I didn't step in, but my heart was in my throat. Then Ashley comes back with to me with the one girl that asked to play with her again. Ashley said to me "They said that they don't like my face or my voice." I turn to the little girl next to her and with a firm tone and ready to pounce I say "Did YOU say that to my daughter?" I was realing inside. The little girl said "No, it was the other girls." Then Ashley and the little girl start to play when the "ringleader"approaches Ashley again. I see Ashley walk over to the girls mother and then I practically race over there to see what is going down. The mother of the ringleader apologized on the girls' behalf, but I was still not happy. I was so ready to defend my kid. I was ready to take that little girl down in an instant! (AND her mother too!) How dare they tell my daughter that they don't like her face and voice?!!! She has the most beautiful face and voice! How could kids be so cruel at 4 years old! 4!! And the thing that broke my heart the most was the fact that I watched Ashley sitting there, alone, in the grass while watching the girls get up from where they were sitting and purposefully move away from her. Here I was admiring how cute and pensive she looked sitting in the grass, but inside she was confused and wondered why they didn't like her. It was clear that she was hurt. I couldn't help the tears from flowing.
BUT, the thing that impresses me the most about my wonderful daughter is the fact that she held her own. She didn't let it get her down. She showed them that she has better things to do than play with kids that didn't want to be her friends and that she loved her family and knew that they loved her. I confirmed to me that my daughter is stronger than I ever was at that age. It also goes to show that you can do your best to teach your child lessons about life but sometimes they teach you little lessons too....even at the tender age of four. At four years old that little girl knew that she was not going to be mean but kind. She didn't cry, she didn't even get mad. She just told her Mommy that they "weren't being very nice." (those were her words) I loved my little girl more than I ever that day. She is a fantastic little child and I only hope that she can carry those strong, brave traits with her as she grows up.
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I want to keep her small like this forever.
Surrounded by her stuffed animals... sleeping in Daddy's t-shirt... |
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